Me & Jack #7

Well, he’s gone again – keeps running away from home (again the dogs get a bad rap). He comes & he goes – who has to do all the work? I have to keep watch, chase wild creatures away, and bark at all the bells & dings. I try to bring his underwear out into the family room to fold – he keeps putting it back – no wonder I take so many naps.

Bells & dings. Lots of them in this house. I bark at them to chase them away. Jack keeps saying its ok – it’s the tv or oven timer or door bell – but you & I know they all come from the same place – the smoke alarm.

(One of us is crazy – It aint me babe – oops that Dylan crap of his is rubbing off on me- That’s why I scratch so much – trying to get Mr Tambourine man’s voice to stop making my skin crawl – Jack actually likes it – so we can all see who’s Nuckingfutz)

 

These days I’m trying to teach Jack who’s the Alpha dog. When he walks to the bedroom I run ahead & jump up on his pillow thus establishing positional authority. Think he pays attention? Hell no! He has the nerve to pick me up & put me at the bottom of the bed. What nerve – Well I guess I will go knock some pillows down and teach him who’s boss.

While I’m flowing in a stream of consciousness let’s talk about dog food. Have u read the ingredients? “Moisty chuncks of chicken, liver, and who the hell knows what? Who they kidding? And he serves me this crap twice a day. I ain’t eatin’ any such thing. He says I’m picky & spoiled. I say “You eat mine, I’ll eat yours.” So he gave a little of his steak to me – Now we’re talking! But just when I thought we’d made a breakthrough, here come the Kibble & Bits. He will soon learn who da’ big dog – damn wuss!

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